Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Journal Prompts

Who are you when you are not being productive?

The child….
Hiding from hidden truths sometimes….hiding from past pains at moments…dealing by not dealing….there are moments when all of us stop being productive and just float along the currents that carry us in whatever direction it happens to be floating in….

But we can not remain unproductive because life does not allow that….we have lessons to learn, lessons to teach to others…. even when we don’t want them…something will always happen to force us back into being productive once again.

Who are you in your dreams?

The watcher.
Sometimes standing beside me as she shows me an event.
Sometimes I see everything through her eyes.
Which is disconcerting at times, to feel like a complete stranger within yourself. I know I am watching an event that has yet to come when I see through the eyes. My inner self wants to pay close attention to the smallest of details and I than record them in a dream journal upon awakening.

Who is the you that notices your thoughts?

Like most people I would most likely say the observer.
The part of myself that observes all that is around me, that inner conscience that reminds me that some thoughts can only lead to dark places that attract more dark to us. Or that we can refuse to allow ourselves to be turned into evil and to turn those thoughts into positives……not always an easy task…..but always possible if we work at it…

I hang onto a quote by Bill Cosby when in my darkest moments….."If you can find humor in anything, you can survive it."

My sense of humor is not always understood by outsiders…..but those who honestly care about me, realize it is how I cope. It keeps me human…some days it may be dark humor, but it is still humor…some days it is silly, or outrageous humor that gets me through a day….the macabre humor can be just as healing as the silly slap stick humor can be for me….

Where does your mind go when you sit in a still moment under an immense sky?

It goes to being free.

Freedom to go where ever it chooses….I can fly with the Eagles, I can float along with the clouds…swim with dolphins in my minds eye…I can run with wolves, or just lie still and imagine what the Stones feel to remain in one spot forever, observing life that teems around it year after year….being exposed to the elements having no control over what happens to it, being shaped by the elements year after year, never really remaining the same as the winds, rain, snow and ice change the shape of them in time….

I realize it is the same with myself….even when I stand still and try not to move or change, I still am changed by events that I have no control over. But I still have the Freedom to learn how to control how I respond to the changes. Sitting still under an immense sky reminds me of that fact….it allows me to breath for a moment, to recharge my inner battery, and to become still and find peace within myself when I need it the most. It gives me time to dream.

In your own history, what has been the best rhythm and way for you to come to know your own truth?

When I stop all motion and become still.

Taking stock of the world around me, I lie down in a soft part of earth. I feel the rhythms of the earth. I listen to the sound of the wind. I listen to the sounds of the life that teem around us each day. For even when all is silent, there is still sound within the silence. I know that makes no sense to a lot of people, it contradicts itself in it’s very thought process. Which should explain me more to you…

When I have just stopped completely. Than and only than did I realize something that was so simply right in front of me the entire time. I just had to stop long enough to see it. To allow myself to know it, to feel it.

What surprises you in your current life?

People are a constant source of surprise for me.

I always expect more than a lot of them seem able of being…You expect honor, honesty,…you expect compassion and empathy….and those you expect it from seem to fail at it miserably….than out of no where, you will find these in people you would never have dreamed these qualities to come from….the package is not what we expected it to come wrapped up in. I love that about humanity, and I hate it as well. I am learning to observe people more, or perhaps it is simply I have a new pair of eyes with which I see them with these days. Time along with my personal life lessons seem to cause that to happen.

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